My feet are FROZEN!

Yes and because of that they deserve an entry -nods-

Nah, exp that they ARE frozen, i"m scared as hell of going back 2 college.

After a too long, 1 1/2 year "Break" or whatever I should call it. I'm finally going back. Different study this time and I'm so scared 2 fail again.

I never was a star in school, but always good enough to get "good enough" grades 2 go to the next class. College is soooooo much different than high school though.

Once again I've decided 2 go to another city 2 do my study, but this time I'm not moving across the country. It's not that far, so it shouldn't be a problem.

BUT, it's just everything is new, diff people and all.


*sigh*


My mom is moving back 2 Suriname in 3 days...

I don't know when I'll see her again. I know why she's leaving and I accept her choices, but today it really hit me when my sister told me "Oh, then mom can come..., wait she's already gone then."

My sister's really a mothers child. She's her everything. She's gonna go nuts without her and I'll soon follow.

I asked her to stay a month longer, because school will just begin and stuff, but she couldn't change the date. So that's it. 3 Days left with her.

I know I"m selfish, but I really don't want her 2 leave us yet. No matter how much my lil sis or her parents need her there.

Sooooooo...

A few months ago, I finally gotten myself a tablet. After a few days i could handle drawing with it pretty okay.

So, I decided to enter a contest and I'm making DA for the first time. I must say it's VERY time consuming and most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm working in the program that came with the Tablet Art Rage, because PS just is too difficult for me at the moment and I have no patience to figure it all out.

Hope to soon though^^

Anyways, I prefer Traditional art over DA. It's easier for me and I already spend TOO much time behind the computer so i like the time when I'm not behind it.


So 19 days left to wrap it up...


Draakje I'll miss ya!


Greetz Betje

So...


After begging for a laptop, I got one from my mother last year at the beginning of January. I really needed one for school seeing I had to every thing at school otherwise and to keep contact as I was living across the country.


Anyway "he" I think it's a he seeing what an asshole it's to me has crashed on me more than 20 times, when I didn't even had it a year. I had to restore it to the original state twice already(which one time was my own fault because i removed something i just shouldn't have). And after receiving it from the death without loosing all my files once again it keeps crashing.


+sobs+


Anyway I'm pissed off again-_-' And just wish I had the money to let it get fixed (if possible) or just thAt it would do its job without fucking the fuck around.


So I'll have to save all my files and write down my passwords and bookmarks which i forgot about last time. I guess I'll reset it this week? Depends on its presentations.


I seriously just wanna pic it up the next time it freezes or shows me the BSOD and throw it out of the window.U_U


Oh yeah, (more complaining on the way)
I REALLY want to get a tablet, two new guitars and...I think that was it. Yeah the other 2 things I want I can't buy so I'll won't even talk about them.


Anyway I've been wanting them like for months now and I'm not making much progress at all -___-' Oh I also forgot my Tat I wanted last Dec for my b-day, but still haven't gotten either, but that i can live without. I'm at a point that I'd almost do any sort of job to get money. I'm gonnA harass my boss for more work tomorrow seeing he won't be there today.


BUTT I just suck at saving-_-' Well I don't really, but something always comes in between as a freaking Bill. People call me a cheap ass, but because I never move forward I don't like spending a dime (exp on skittles *drools*) or other necessary things.


I thought I was gonna die this week...well not this week but soon, too soon.
I might be over reacting, but I had pain in my chest again and was just thinking about all the things I didn't do yet in my life. I have the fear that there's something really wrong with me but the doctor can't see or find it0_o. Anyway, I'd be seriously pissed at God if I'd die so soon without actually living a life as I had wanted too.


I think too much...
i hope i can figure myself out soon. I'm seriously driving myself crazy when I'm alone. I just know I need some serious change and soon.


Anyway happy belate V_day^^

ps. if anyone has an idea for a job I could try out please let me know.

Hi^^


My feet aren't actually cold seeing I placed them on top of the heater, but ja...

It's been almost 3 weeks since my laptop crashed. I miss him (I think it was a guy...) and I hope there's still a way of saving my files. Anyway enough about that!

Today I was playing on my guitar and I got something nice out of it. It was a sad melody though, but it really got to me, so later I went up to my room and after playing with it for a while I added some lyrics.

It can be read as a poem or you can sing it, i like reading it better though. It's called "Whispers" and I'm so proud of it^^.

I'm not gonna do anything with it or something, but ja, just wanted to share it with you (who ever is reading).

Lately I've been having a LOT of inspiration. I've been drawing and writing like mad, but I still don't feel satisfied. I don't want to force things because then it doesn't work, but I wanna draw and the I just don't know what to draw.

I've gotten some drawings I still need to upload, but I'm too lazy.

Oh my hair, it's buggin the *BEEP* out of me lately. It's growing pretty good, but it just won't stay out of my face xD. I think I'm gonna wash it tonight. It's been a week or 2 last time, I think...

I'm just so lazy to twist them again -_-'

the 20th I'm going to this Big party that's a 1 year thing only. It's in A'dam and i wanna do a Mohawk, but I dunno yet. It ticks me off that I can't do *BEEP* with my hair.

If I want it curly I have to braid them together or make little knots out of them, either way B's in a LOT of pain.

I still want my hair Blue! After I've finished the evening school, I'm allowed to change my hair again^^ jeeej. I hope it'll work out when the time is right.

I'm becoming 19 in ...11 days god I'm getting OLD *shrieks* I'm not really celebrating it. My friend told me he wanted to go on a (as I call it) "date" with me. That's really nice seeing the first 6 or 7 years we've known each other we'v never EVER EVERRRR been on each others B-day's xD

*Why am i ranting like this?*

Leute, If you have suggestions about, my hair, what to draw or something else that kills time and makes not much noise let me know?^^


So it's 3:15 AM. Thank god i'm not working tomorrow. My bio rhythm is totally *BEEPED* up again. I've been sleeping less then 5 hours a day this week -_-'

It's my own fault though. Anyway (tries to say goodnight and good bye again) I'm gonna go wash my hair, in other words sit in the shower for an hour or 2 xD (not really).

Oyasumi!



Greetz B.

Betje is BORED!

*Why?

She has plenty of stuff to do right?

- uhh,...

*For example you have 19 unfinished stories and a couple of drawings you need to finish or start working on as you promised yourself nee?

- ...

*No comment eh?

- *nods*

* (thinks)

- [I never knew even my consiouns could think too 0.o!]

*JA! Why don't you go play guitar?

- You know my mom's already in bed -_-'

*Go bother your sister?

- She abandoned me AGAIN!!! *cough* she's not home...T_T

* (makes a face)

Ja! I do have a face!!! I know you were thinking it!

- whatever...

* Watch anime?

- Not uploaded yet *_*

*Paint your hair?

- ...eh? Not yet!

* Go do something!

- ugh -_-

that was much help xD



I'm bored and talking to myself! I think I'm gonna attempt drawing something... easy...